New Years Resolutions
1. Learn Mozart's Sonata in C Major, K 545: I. Allegro, Brahms Intermezzo in A, Op 18 No 2, and Gymnopede No. 1. Attempt Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue.
2. Get my headshots retaken and go back to agents I saw a year ago so I can invite them to my showcase. This also means getting my head in check and focused.
2. Lose 5-8 pounds.
3. Spend at least one day a month volunteering. The organization I volunteer for will switch every month. Get my friends involved.
4. Watch two movies I haven't seen every week.
5. Read at least half the list of books and plays Jackie sent me by the end of the year.
10 January 2008
10 December 2007
This whole change of luck thing is quite exciting.
Go with the butterflies, the intellect, or the talent? Butterflies, I think. But butterflies lead to trouble, I'm guessing.
Time will tell.
Rehearsals rehearsals rehearsals.
Lots of flurries.
50 hours.
Turning six this Friday or Saturday?
I will miss my children.
Go with the butterflies, the intellect, or the talent? Butterflies, I think. But butterflies lead to trouble, I'm guessing.
Time will tell.
Rehearsals rehearsals rehearsals.
Lots of flurries.
50 hours.
Turning six this Friday or Saturday?
I will miss my children.
02 December 2007
30 November 2007
physics
Autumn literally started and ended in a single week.
Just in time for trimming our Christmas tree.
Afterwards, while eating our annual dinner of my dad's stew provençal, we talked.
My grandmother told me that she saw herself standing at her bedside while sleeping a few nights ago. She stood and watched my grandmother, dressed in different clothing, sleep and then proceeded to walk out of the room.
My grandfather told me he had a dream that Cuba was liberated.
My dad posed an interesting question. Since we can travel at the speed of sound, there is the possibility that in a century we may be able to travel at the speed of light. If we travel at the speed of light, will we see darkness? My dad says yes. I say we may see light- whatever light really looks like. Might make people question their faith.
We had too many ornamants and couldn't fit them all onto our twelve foot tree. I fear the thing may topple down any second.
Some notes from several entries from this week:
You have wings but I have weight.
Fine lines, holy mouths.
Knobbed feet.
Contracting and expanding.
Giving yourself the allowance to speak.
Words that are alive inside of you but never see the light of day.
Her spine the remnants of her tail.
Chipped tiles.
Mosaic of time.
Through the iced porch of time.
Sinking retreat.
Popped consonants.
To believe that days have impact, in date, years later.
Onwards.
Just in time for trimming our Christmas tree.
Afterwards, while eating our annual dinner of my dad's stew provençal, we talked.
My grandmother told me that she saw herself standing at her bedside while sleeping a few nights ago. She stood and watched my grandmother, dressed in different clothing, sleep and then proceeded to walk out of the room.
My grandfather told me he had a dream that Cuba was liberated.
My dad posed an interesting question. Since we can travel at the speed of sound, there is the possibility that in a century we may be able to travel at the speed of light. If we travel at the speed of light, will we see darkness? My dad says yes. I say we may see light- whatever light really looks like. Might make people question their faith.
We had too many ornamants and couldn't fit them all onto our twelve foot tree. I fear the thing may topple down any second.
Some notes from several entries from this week:
You have wings but I have weight.
Fine lines, holy mouths.
Knobbed feet.
Contracting and expanding.
Giving yourself the allowance to speak.
Words that are alive inside of you but never see the light of day.
Her spine the remnants of her tail.
Chipped tiles.
Mosaic of time.
Through the iced porch of time.
Sinking retreat.
Popped consonants.
To believe that days have impact, in date, years later.
Onwards.
25 November 2007
finally beginning to learn my lesson
| Meghan Farrell | |||
| Mom | |||
| | |||
| Re: |
1. World Peace
2. Inner Peace
3. Someone to love and to be able to give my heart selflessly
4. To be able to truly see myself
5. To always know I have a home.
6. To have integrity especially in art.
7. For everyone to care less about Britney Spears and more about what is really going on in the world.
8. Good health.
9. For autumn to come back next year.
10.To have my family see me succeed for all the right reasons.
------Original Message------
From: Mom
To: M------@americanapparel.net
Sent: Nov 19, 2007 12:30 PM
Subject:
Meghan-give your christmas list-put at least 10 things-a wish list most imp at the top-love mom
----------------
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Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
21 November 2007
the sidewalk dance
I'm five years old. But sometimes I feel as if that is one of my more redeeming qualities. It never gets in the way of things like class or work, but rather, is more of a personal affect.
It hurts when people call your bluff. It hurts when intuitive people can see right through you.
It hurts even more when you feel as though things are out of your control.
I've been doing sidewalk dances with strangers a lot lately. In New York, it happens to you if you're alert enough, maybe once a month. But lately? Once a day? Four times a week sometimes? The other day it happened in front of my mother when she came to visit me. It's hard to tell whether this is coming from me or from the fact that everyone is in that frame of mind where they are just stuck in their heads. However, I'm thinking that because of the fact that it is happening to me so frequently, I am the one to blame.
So that's what I do with people in my own life- metaphorically speaking. Sidewalk dances. Awkward, annoying, uncontrollable sidewalk dances. It sucks.
The frustration these strangers express towards me is terribly disheartening. The frustration and annoyance the people I have met in my own life express towards me is disheartening and disappointing.
To know that you are the source of this problem... well... it feels pretty bad.
I'm finding more and more that to be loved or even deeply cared for by someone outside of my family is something I desire greatly. Letting them in and letting them stay there, however....
It hurts when people call your bluff. It hurts when intuitive people can see right through you.
It hurts even more when you feel as though things are out of your control.
I've been doing sidewalk dances with strangers a lot lately. In New York, it happens to you if you're alert enough, maybe once a month. But lately? Once a day? Four times a week sometimes? The other day it happened in front of my mother when she came to visit me. It's hard to tell whether this is coming from me or from the fact that everyone is in that frame of mind where they are just stuck in their heads. However, I'm thinking that because of the fact that it is happening to me so frequently, I am the one to blame.
So that's what I do with people in my own life- metaphorically speaking. Sidewalk dances. Awkward, annoying, uncontrollable sidewalk dances. It sucks.
The frustration these strangers express towards me is terribly disheartening. The frustration and annoyance the people I have met in my own life express towards me is disheartening and disappointing.
To know that you are the source of this problem... well... it feels pretty bad.
I'm finding more and more that to be loved or even deeply cared for by someone outside of my family is something I desire greatly. Letting them in and letting them stay there, however....
11 November 2007
the possibility of another week....
Blazing yellow, burnt orange, vibrant brown....
The leaves have changed in New England. On our drive to Boston, I had to internally restrain myself from getting too much in my head... Super... So beautiful, it was.
There was this little park in Newton I saw while driving in the car, and it was sunny and clear, and there were benches and a square of grass, the leaves had changed on the trees and they lay on the ground... I wanted so bad to get out of the car and just sit on a bench and read or write.... make leaf piles and just jump in them.
When I was little I didn't even jump. I just burrowed myself into the pile head first.
My peeps, I am giving autumn one more week to come to New York in its fullest capacity. Enough of this in between bullshit.
The leaves have changed in New England. On our drive to Boston, I had to internally restrain myself from getting too much in my head... Super... So beautiful, it was.
There was this little park in Newton I saw while driving in the car, and it was sunny and clear, and there were benches and a square of grass, the leaves had changed on the trees and they lay on the ground... I wanted so bad to get out of the car and just sit on a bench and read or write.... make leaf piles and just jump in them.
When I was little I didn't even jump. I just burrowed myself into the pile head first.
My peeps, I am giving autumn one more week to come to New York in its fullest capacity. Enough of this in between bullshit.
just a lot of randomness
Four days ago, a man yelled, "Viva Brazil" to me out of his car window.
Three days ago, I noticed that even the brook in the Subway tracks of the FV at Canal Street has a current.
Two days ago, a bird flew off a building and right in front me as I was walking - so close that his little wings graced my nose.
One day ago, I got a phone call while riding the 2 from Chambers to 14th Street. A little girl around three or four stared at me and just said, "Whoa."
Three days ago, I noticed that even the brook in the Subway tracks of the FV at Canal Street has a current.
Two days ago, a bird flew off a building and right in front me as I was walking - so close that his little wings graced my nose.
One day ago, I got a phone call while riding the 2 from Chambers to 14th Street. A little girl around three or four stared at me and just said, "Whoa."
07 November 2007
goodbye fall
Words can not even begin to describe the pain- the actual hurt- I am experiencing due to the fact that we have skipped the autumn season this year. The leaves aren't changing. It's really not that cold. In fact, for a while, it was still summer. I can still drink iced coffee and not care that it will be too chilly.
I find myself daily, as I walk places, looking on the sidewalk for any changed leaves. And by changed, I mean fully red, vibrant orange, and of course, yellow ones. I have found a few-- but only a few. Some seem as if they are at the midpoint of changing from green to a color, which only depresses me because clearly in the nature of science, these leaves were literally fighting for their life before death won and they fell from the tree. At least give the leaves justice and have them die colorfully. Home on Long Island, I noticed even more while driving that what was two years ago a vision of color, was instead this awkward dark green color.
It worries me what we are doing to our world, and it depresses me even more when I reflect on my past, how I and those I know have contributed to this. I feel I am still so ignorant to so much. I need to educate myself. I have so much more to learn.
I find myself daily, as I walk places, looking on the sidewalk for any changed leaves. And by changed, I mean fully red, vibrant orange, and of course, yellow ones. I have found a few-- but only a few. Some seem as if they are at the midpoint of changing from green to a color, which only depresses me because clearly in the nature of science, these leaves were literally fighting for their life before death won and they fell from the tree. At least give the leaves justice and have them die colorfully. Home on Long Island, I noticed even more while driving that what was two years ago a vision of color, was instead this awkward dark green color.
This entry is so sappy and not at all super, but I feel it and that's all that matters. I honestly can't help it if I miss jumping into huge piles of leaves underneath the oak trees on my front lawn. Or walking through New York carrying a nice cup of hot tea in my coat and scarf and having my nose and cheeks feel cold. Visions and feelings of autumn bring back to me only the best of memories. Without the visions, the smells, everything- I might start to forget.
above picture - fall 2006
above picture - fall 2006
It worries me what we are doing to our world, and it depresses me even more when I reflect on my past, how I and those I know have contributed to this. I feel I am still so ignorant to so much. I need to educate myself. I have so much more to learn.
10 October 2007
To...
To have something you've passionately wanted within your reach countless times (a literal arms distance away) and then, to pretty much willfully let it go, is one of the hardest things anyone can deal with. To begin to realize the possibility that it is something you have lost your passion for over the years (and that the reason you let it go is because you don't want it anymore) is even harder. To know the reason for this is the criticism of others that easily allowed this passion to be whisked away from you is just personally painful. To not see any goals ahead for you....
01 October 2007
you see it and for a moment you want it
Walking home down West Broadway last night, I did my usual survey of the life going on above my head. Across the street, above old warehouses and stores, in "well lit rooms," rows and
rows of bookshelves, solitary pieces of art, and small gardens beckoned me. High ceilings, impressive spaces made me want that life myself. To hear the sounds of what appeared to me to be a lonely pianist only made me want it all even more. I remember thinking how comfortable it must be to live like that.
You see it and for a moment you want it.
Crossing over Canal and nearly getting run over by a crazy reckless driver, tripping my way in my K Jacques across Tribeca Park, I am back in the real world. I recall in my mind that the spaces I saw were big, but empty. The pianist was playing Beethoven, and before he moved onto his next piece, he was just ending Sonata 14 in C Sharp Minor.
After a long day spent at the market with good company, then working, and then throughout it all, contemplating and absorbing the changes that are about to take place in my life, I made my way back to the fourth floor of my own apartment. Home to three calm, happy roommates and to rooms that screamed warmth. A home, yes.
You see it and for a moment you want it. Who doesn't?
rows of bookshelves, solitary pieces of art, and small gardens beckoned me. High ceilings, impressive spaces made me want that life myself. To hear the sounds of what appeared to me to be a lonely pianist only made me want it all even more. I remember thinking how comfortable it must be to live like that.You see it and for a moment you want it.
Crossing over Canal and nearly getting run over by a crazy reckless driver, tripping my way in my K Jacques across Tribeca Park, I am back in the real world. I recall in my mind that the spaces I saw were big, but empty. The pianist was playing Beethoven, and before he moved onto his next piece, he was just ending Sonata 14 in C Sharp Minor.
After a long day spent at the market with good company, then working, and then throughout it all, contemplating and absorbing the changes that are about to take place in my life, I made my way back to the fourth floor of my own apartment. Home to three calm, happy roommates and to rooms that screamed warmth. A home, yes.
You see it and for a moment you want it. Who doesn't?
29 September 2007
and she's on a blog.... yet again....
So I couldn't resist putting this up on my own blog, mainly because of the fact that I love this girl so much. If it is one thing I (as well as many others who have been graced by her presence) know, it is that Amy N Sall (who I am blessed to have as one of my sales associates) is a fashion celebrity waiting to happen. And at only 17, this could happen at any moment. Overnight, even. But let's get started with the first celebrity moment: being featured on Teen Vogue's Snapshot of the Week, and then, the American Apparel Daily Update Blog.
Though she is praised for her thoughts and views on personal style ("I wouldn't want any trends to make a comeback. Fashion should progress, not regress."), those who actually know her have grown to see that she is so much more than what she wears. In fact, she's even humble about it all! It is her personality, her sincere love and care of others, and always coming to work with a smile that makes us all at American Apparel love Amy. Her creativity is just an added perk.
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