goodbye fall

Words can not even begin to describe the pain- the actual hurt- I am experiencing due to the fact that we have skipped the autumn season this year. The leaves aren't changing. It's really not that cold. In fact, for a while, it was still summer. I can still drink iced coffee and not care that it will be too chilly.

I find myself daily, as I walk places, looking on the sidewalk for any changed leaves. And by changed, I mean fully red, vibrant orange, and of course, yellow ones. I have found a few-- but only a few. Some seem as if they are at the midpoint of changing from green to a color, which only depresses me because clearly in the nature of science, these leaves were literally fighting for their life before death won and they fell from the tree. At least give the leaves justice and have them die colorfully. Home on Long Island, I noticed even more while driving that what was two years ago a vision of color, was instead this awkward dark green color.

This entry is so sappy and not at all super, but I feel it and that's all that matters. I honestly can't help it if I miss jumping into huge piles of leaves underneath the oak trees on my front lawn. Or walking through New York carrying a nice cup of hot tea in my coat and scarf and having my nose and cheeks feel cold. Visions and feelings of autumn bring back to me only the best of memories. Without the visions, the smells, everything- I might start to forget.


above picture - fall 2006

It worries me what we are doing to our world, and it depresses me even more when I reflect on my past, how I and those I know have contributed to this. I feel I am still so ignorant to so much. I need to educate myself. I have so much more to learn.